I’ve been itching for more than half the season to track, organize, and analyze Blocker stats.  I’ve been dying to add a new element to my vision of the game and to give credit where I think it should be given most often in this sport.

Coach has a new stats tracking system.  Blockers, this one’s for you.

I found no greater motivation to do it than after the Championship bout last month.  It was my desire to have comprehensive stats for AZDD’s first Banked Track Championship.  I didn’t want to leave one angle of this awesome and important bout in AZDD history untouched.

It’s taken me over two weeks to organize all the numbers.  Man, was it a pain in the ass at times, but I was determined.  And, quite frankly, it was worth my time because I want to show some love to the most powerful skaters on the track.  I know they’ve been frustrated and feeling left out on the Coach’s Derblog all season.

A few housekeeping points:

First, I have to show appreciation to Mr. Snakeyes, husband of LADD skater Suzy Snakeyes.

Lawless and I had the fortunate circumstance of running into them at the afterparty that celebrated the AZDD v. LADD exhibition bout back in June of this year in LA.  After a few moments of chatting with him I realized we had something big in common:  we both keep stats for our respective leagues.  I had to ask him, “How do you keep stats for blockers?”  He gave me his ear for a few moments, taught me his method for keeping Blocker stats, and provided me with the tools to see this game on whole new and different dimension.  He probably won’t even remember the encounter, but nonetheless, he did something big for me, and as you’ll see, AZDD as a whole.

Second, thanks to Dolly de los Muertos and Vanessa Velocity.

If you read my blog entry, Jam On It, that broke down all the league’s Jammer stats, the last paragraphs of that entry mentions the hurdle I needed help getting over to keep Blocker stats.  Dolly and VV were able to provide the assistance I needed after the Championship.  They helped me identify the Blockers for every Jam in my dark and grainy bout video and in return I left them with a bit of a headache when we were done.

We already know how the bout ended and we know which Jammers stood above the rest.  Now, its time too look at how the Blockers faired on both the Coffin Draggers and the Schoolyard Scrapper.

Looking at both team’s Blockers as a unit the Coffin Draggers held the Schoolyard Scrappers to a 34 pct. Lead Jam Percentage.  The Scrappers’ Jammers were able to make it through the Draggers pack first only 14 times in the bout.  On average, the Draggers’ Blockers gave up 1.97 ppj.

On the other side of the infield, the Scrappers’ Blockers allowed the Draggers’ Jammers to control the Lead Jam for 65 pct. of the bout.  Out of 41 Jams, the Draggers’ were able to get their Jammer through the Plaid Curtain first 27 times.  The Scrappers’ Blockers gave up 2.34 ppj. on the night.

I’ve maintained that Power Jams are more an exhibition of Blocker effectiveness.  The quickness of your Jammers is secondary to that.  Power Jams are where the Scrappers’ Blockers out shined the Draggers.  Though the Scrappers gave the Draggers more Power Jam opportunities during the Championship, statistically, the Scrappers faired better in these single Jammer scenarios.

In Power Jams, the Scrappers’ Blockers gave up 29 points in Jam counts of 9, 5, 8, & 7.  It’s impressive that they didn’t allow the Draggers to log a single double figure Power Jam and held the Draggers to a 7.25 ppPJ average.

Conversely, the Scrappers had 3 Power Jam opportunities of their own and during those instances the Draggers’ Blockers gave up 27 total points for Jam counts of 10, 10, & 7.  Those two double figure Power Jams are indicative of the Scrappers’ Blockers getting their Jammer through two complete scoring passes.  A 9 ppPJ average shows the Scrappers Blockers were able to free up their Jammer in the pack more effectively than the Draggers.

And now………

(drum roll)…………………

INDIVIDUAL BLOCKER STATISTICS!

Before I share the numbers, let me explain how the process works that got me to them.

The basic Blocker statistic is what’s called a Blocking Differential (BD).  Its the difference between the points scored for and points scored against each team’s blocking line-up in a given Jam.  Blocking is two-dimensional.  Part of it is assisting your Jammer to score points; the other is blocking the other Jammer from scoring points.  So coming up you’ll see why we have to have two sets of numbers working together.

For example, lets say Team A scored 4 points and Team B scored 0 points in a Jam that just ended.

Team A would finish that Jam with 4 points scored for and 0 points scored against.  Team A’s Blockers would have a BD of +4.  Team B would finish the Jam with 0 points scored for and 4 points scored against.  Team B would have a BD of -4 for that Jam.

Each team’s BD will be assigned to each Blocker that team had in that Jam, much the same points are assigned to Jammers that scored them.

While this is an individual stat, its drawn from how the entire pack for each team performs as a unit in a Jam.  So as you’ll deduce, a Blocker’s BD is somewhat dependent on how her teammates in that line-up perform as well.

The other variables that plays into this number are who the Jammers are on the track.  Always keep this in mind.  My personal philosophy is that its the Blockers that score points, the Jammers are just the one’s who run through the pack collecting them.

This statistic really hits home the philosophy that Blockers are more effective when they work together rather than individually.  The more cohesive the pack, the higher the differential will be; the less cohesive the pack, the lower the differential will be.

Still working off the same scenario above, lets say the next Jam Blocker X from Team A lines up in finishes with 2 points scored for and 0 point scored against.  That would give Blocker X a +2 BD for that Jam.  And just to give us a three Jam sample, lets also say that in the next Jam Blocker X skates in ends with 0 points scored for and 3 points scored against giving her a BD of -3 for that Jam.

The next step is to add up all the points scored for and against Blocker X.  In this three Jam sample, offensively Blocker X has Jams of 4, 2, & 0 points giving her a total of 6 points scored for.  Defensively, Blocker X had Jams of 0, 0, & 3 points for a total of 3 points scored against.

Take total points for (6) and subtract total points against (3) and this will give you an overall BD (+3) for Blocker X.

After working the two sets of numbers together you get one overall stat, the Blocking Differential, similar to how you add up Jammer points and it gives you her overall point total.  In the example above the overall BD was +3.

Just to be complete, lets consider that Team B has Blocker Y line up in all the same Jams mentioned above.  Computing all the same numbers in the same manner would yield Blocker Y with a overall BD of -3.

Phew!

Are you still with me?  Good.  ‘Cause there’s just a little more.

Like Jammer point totals, the Blocking Differential isn’t where it ends.  Next, you look at my favorite numbers:

AVERAGES

The Blocker Differential Per Jam (bdpj.)  average is the Blocking equivalent of Jammer’s Points Per Jam (ppj.).  It shows you how efficient a Blocker is from Jam to Jam.

The way you get to that number is easy.  Just take the overall BD for a Blocker and divide it by the number of Jams the Blocker skated in.

In our scenario we’ve been working with, take Blocker X’s overall BD (+3) and divide it by the number of Jams she skated in (3) and that will give you her bdpj. (+1).  On the other hand, Blocker Y will have a bdpj. of (-1).

What the bdpj. tells you is what effect that Blocker had in the Jams she skated in.  Blocker X’s +1 bdpj. shows that in the line ups she was in, her line ups were scoring 1 more point on average than the other team.  She was asssiting her Jammer in scoring points more often than she became one.  Likewise, Blocker Y’s -1 bdpj. means her line ups were giving up points in the Jams she skated in more often than they were scoring.

I’ll admit, being that this is the first time I’ve taken these stats and had a chance to crunch them, I’m not completely certain how to analyze them.  Additionally, this is only one bout, a single sample, so it can’t give me a complete picture of a Blocker’s ability, its limited only to this bout.

Nevertheless, I’ll give it my best shot.  Here’s what I believe these numbers mean.

As a Blocker you definitely always want to have a BD and bdpj. that’s in the positive.  It means your pack has the right balance of assisting your Jammer while offering resistance to the opposing one.

If you’re in the negative, you’re not doing your team any good.  That means the line-ups you’re in are getting scored on more often than not.  In reality, you’re becoming a Blocker that benefits the other team by offering them a guaranteed point when you’re on the track.

For the Championship Bout, I created a scale to gauge how efficient a Blocker is and the effect they had in the bout.  Since there was a 15 point spread in the final score with the Draggers coming out on top, the overall differtial for the Draggers was +15 and the Scrappers -15.  With 41 total jams in the bout that gives a bdpj. for each team of +.36 for the Draggers and -.36 for the Scrappers.  That’s the range and my starting point.

Any Blocker whose bdpj. falls within the range of +.36 and -.36 is middle of the pack.  This range is my zero.  It didn’t hurt to have you in the line-up, but then again, it didn’t exactly help to have you in it either.

If a Blocker’s bdpj. is between +.37 and +.99 your presence was felt and you played a part in the success your line ups had while you were on the track.  You were assisting in scoring more often than you were being scored on.  The opposite applies if you were in the -.37 to -.99 range.  You weren’t completely detrimental in the line ups you were in but you’re still not assisting in scoring sufficiently.

Finally, if a Blocker has a +1 or better bdpj., those are the big dogs.  When Blockers in this range are on the track, their line ups are scoring, and they’re scoring one more point or more than the other team’s pack.  If you win every Jam by one point, you’ll win the bout.  Blockers with a +1 or above put their team in a good position to win.  On the other hand, if you’re a -1 or lower, you should change your derby name to “Juana E-Z Point” because the line ups you’re in are getting score on more frequently.

And there you have it.  I apologize to your brain.

Now lets take a look a real life example from the Championship Bout.  I think it will bring everything together if you’re still unclear about something.

When I finished laying out all the numbers, one skater’s numbers made my eyes pop out of my head like a cartoon character.  The top Blocker of the night was Venus Vendetta.  Let me run you through her numbers.

Venus blocked in 16 Jams during the Championship.  When she was on the track, her line ups scored 57 points for her team.  As for points against……are you ready for this……11.  That’s right.  The Scrappers were only able to score 11 points when Venus was on the track.  That’s an outstanding balance of scoring, and more importantly, DEFENSE.

Her line ups gave up the least amount of points for any full time Blocker.  She also had the highest BD with +46.  When she was in the blocking line up, her pack netted her team 46 points!  She finished with a +2.87 bdpj.  Her line ups were scoring almost 3 more points than the opposing blocking line up every jam. UN-REAL!!!

Here are a few finer details about Venus’ Blocking stats.  In the first half of the bout, the Scrappers didn’t score a single point when she was in the line up.  Her packs completely shut down the Scrappers’ Jammers and their Blockers in the first 24 minutes of the bout.  Of the 16 Jams she skated in, the Scrapper were only successful in scoring on her line up in 4 Jams.  Only two Jammers were able to score on her (Jenna Talls, who scored 8 points, and Goody Goody Blooddrop, who scored 3).  This means half of the Scrappers’ Jamming crew was non-existent when Venus was on the track.

Nice work by the veteran and long-time Coffin Dragger. She had to sit out of regular season bouts because of a dislocated shoulder that decided to make its way out of its socket right before each bout started. Literally. During warm-ups.  She rolled back with a vengance in the playoffs and in the Championship.  Obviously.

I’m sure you wanna know how all the other Blockers performed.  Before I lay it all out I made a distinction among the Blockers and you can see that by the two separate tables I’ve inserted.  To be considered a Full Time (FT) Blocker, you have to had Blocked in 8 Jams or more.  In order to give a honest gauge of a blockers true ability you must have an adequate sample.  An adequate sample gives a more accurate measure of consistency.  I used 8 as the starting point because in an average 40 Jam bout that means a Blocker skated in 20 pct. of the bout.

I’ve order them from top bdpj. on down. Ok, I’ll stop talking now.  Here are all the numbers:

Coffin Draggers

Schoolyard Scrappers

…

Good stuff, right?

I won’t say much about it.  I’ll let the numbers speak for themselves.  I’m just gonna let these marinate in your dome while I play with them a little.  Perhaps I’ll have more to say since I have a new toy in these stats.  Enjoy, and always remember:

Jammers win Bouts.  Blockers win Championships.

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While one AZDD star *twinkle*twinkled* in her final bout with the league, another star was born in her very first.  Coincidentally, both of these ladies were rockin’ the star panty with passion and ferocity.

Vanessa Velocity of the Schoolyard Scrappers and Satan’s Little Helper of the Coffins Draggers were some bad mamma Jammers in this months Championship.  In terms of scoring, these two Jammers almost single-handedly dictated the course of the bout.

VV and the rest of the Schoolyard Scrappers went into this bout knowing it would be her last before her retirement from the league.  I wrote a blog entry back in March that featured VV, and in this bout her performance was right on target with the description I gave her skating style.  She Jammed ”con GANAS” (Spanish for “with desire”).  I haven’t seen her Jam all season like she did in this season’s most important bout.

Lets break down her stats.

VV Jammed 12 times in the bout and acquired the Lead Jam 7 times for a 58 pct. Lead Jam Percentage.  She scored 42 points in the bout for a soaring average of 3.5 ppj.  She scored over half of her team’s points.

Those are awesome numbers to put up in your farewell bout.  I believe it was a combination of the fact that this would be the last time she would skate with the league, and it was a Championship game.  There was just too much at stake.

This lady has the soul of an athlete so its no surprise that her game took a leap in this high stakes bout.  That’s what true athletes do; they take their game to the next level when all their chips are on the line and it showed in her performance during the bout and on the stats sheet.

VV was the only Jammer that night to log a double figure jam.  She did it twice.  The Draggers gave up 3 Power Jams in the bout and VV jammed in all three of them.  Her Power Jam point counts were 10, 10, and 7.

With the first half score resting at 46-31, her two 10 point Power Jams were the reason the bout didn’t get too far out of reach for her team.  The Scrappers were down 15-4 late in the 1st quarter when VV stepped up to the Jammer line for her first Power Jam.  After that jam, the score didn’t look so lopsided at 15-14.  A similar case came in the middle of the 2nd quarter when she stepped up to the line again for another Power Jam.  That ended up being the go-ahead jam for the Scrappers as they took the lead for the first time in the bout 31-27.

The only wrinkle in her game that night was that 2 of the 4 Power Jams the Scrappers gave up that night came after a VV Power Jam.  That risk is always present when you put a Jammer as aggressive as her in a Power line-up.  She picked up a Major penalty on one Power Jam for arms.  *Tisk*Tisk*  The other Major was an accumulation of minors.  That’s more a slip-up made by the bench managers.  Strategically, you never, ever, ever, ever, EVER put a Jammer on the line with three minors.  The next minor the Jammer picks up (its pretty common for a Jammer to pick up a minor in any given jam) puts her in the box and gives the other team an easy Power Jam.

Mistakes were made but continuously she put her team in a  good position, whether it was putting the game back within reach or helping her team take the lead.

After three and a half years with the league, she hanging up her skates with a commendable resume as a Derby Dame.  She’s a Champion and has been to three consecutive Championship bouts.  She won a Championship with the Runaway Brides in Season 3.  She and the Brides went back in Season 4 but a knee injury kept her out of that bout.  Now she was back again in Season 5 as a Scrapper.

I’m sad to see her go.  She was one of the skaters that blew my mind at the very first AZDD bout I ever went to.  Her juke move is patented.  AZDD doesn’t have too many true athletes, and she’s one of them.  Sucks to see the league lose such an asset to its game.  But its bitter sweet.  She’s movin’ on to pursue bigger and better things.  She’ll be devoting her time to studying to be a cardiovascular echosonographer.  If your head hurts like mine after trying to pronounce that, in simple terms it means she’ll be studying to take ultrasounds of the heart.  Yes, you can include intelligent with athletic and beautiful.  Best of luck, VV!

I haven’t seen to many skaters in this league during my time that can accelerate after breaking the pack like VV.  That was, until this Championship bout.  There’s a new kid on the block that can leave the pack behind her in a hurry.

The breakout performance of the night (if not the season) came from the Coffin Draggers newest rookie, Satan’s Little Helper.  Her skills set came standard as she’s a transplant from another roller derby league in Ohio.

There are two elements of her skill that make her lethal.  First, she’s got an explosive start off the line.  When she blows off the Jammer line, she instantly puts a lot of distance between her and the opposing Jammer.  It almost appears as if she’s not even concerned with the pack in front of her; the blockers are like cones she just has to skate around and in the process she hardly loses any speed from her start.  And second, as mentioned, when she’s able to break the pack before turn 2, the straight-away is where she turns her turbo boosters on going into turn 3 and the track naturally spits her out of turn 4 with even more speed.  Its blinding.

Her numbers topped almost every category for all the Jammers that night.

Satan Jammed 12 times on the night and acquired the Lead Jam 9 times for a 75 pct. Lead Jam Percentage.  She scored 45 points for the Draggers for an outstanding 3.75 ppj. average, both game highs.  She also Jammed in 3 Power Jams with counts of 9, 8, and 7.

To illustrate just how much she meant to that team winning their first Championship, here’s a little extra credit math.

She scored 45 points.  The Draggers’ 4 other Jammers scored 51.

She averaged 3.75 ppj.  The rest of the Jamming core had a cumulative average of 1.96 ppj.

I don’t think anyone will forget too soon the show she put on in Jam 27 of the 3rd quarter.

She sweeps through turn 1 on the high side of the track and meets Cruella DeMille who offers her a devastating hit that completely de-skates her.  The hit was so destructive, it causes Satan’s helmet to pop right of her head. You ever squeezed a tube of toothpaste so hard the cap exploded off?  That’s what it looked like.  Her helmet shoots between the guard rail and the kick rail and lands outside the track.  Fortunately it lands in a fan’s hands.  For a moment I think he thought he might come away with a souvenir, but Satan demands for it back.  The guy gives her a perfect toss and it lands right in her hands and in one motion she jumps back on the track to resume her pursuit.  She meets back up with the pack coming out of turn 4.  Satan skates an entire revolution while attempting to fasten her helmet clip under her chin.  The ruckus from the crowd comes as she flashes by one Scrapper blocker…then another…THEN ANOTHER…THEN ANOTHER while still trying to fasten her helmet.  And she makes it look easy.

Satan didn’t get the Lead Jam and she didn’t score any points.  Nonetheless, she stole the show during that jam.  I don’t think many people noticed the Scrapper Jammer on the track.  I don’t even remember, but I think it was Jenna Talls.  Or, maybe it was Goody.  Let me check my stats sheet…

(checking…)

Yeah, it was Jenna Talls.  And she came away with a perfect 4-0 jam.  But the crowd wasn’t cheering for her at the end of that jam.  The crowd sold their souls to Satan and she had the fans behind her.  The confidence in her skating visibly increased.  Satan was on fire.

The Draggers decided to jump on her back in the 4th quarter and increased her Jamming frequency.  She only Jammed 5 times in the entire first half.  She Jammed 4 times in the 4th quarter scoring 13  of the teams 23 points.

Being a kid who went through Catholic schooling, I never thought I’d say this with such sincerity and excitement, but, HAIL SATAN!!!

What a circumstance for this skater.  On September 4th, you’re called a Fresh Meat.  On September 25th, you’re called a hero and a Champion in your very first bout.  Where do you go from there? She’s gonna be fun to watch.

In the head to head battle between Vanessa Velocity and Satan’s Little Helper, the vet showed the rookie no courtesy in her welcome.  They lined up to Jam together 3 times.  VV acquired the Lead Jam 2 out of the 3 times and outscored Satan 8 to 6.  Out of the 3, they practically split the first with Satan scoring 2 points and VV scoring 1.  Satan won the 2nd 4-0, and VV owned the 3rd 7-0.

Since this was the Championship bout, I feel obligated to give you comprehensive Jammer stats.  Here’s how the rest of the Jammers did.

Coffin Draggers
Cannibelle Corpse – 7 Jams – 4 Lead Jams – Jams of 0,0,4,4,3,4,0 – 15 pts – 2.14 ppj.
Mia Pow Wow – 8 Jams – 6 Lead Jams – Jams of 4,0,3,0,4,5,0,0 – 16 pts – 2 ppj. (Power Jam in bold)
Craven Cadavers – 7 Jams – 5 Lead Jams – Jams of 0,4,0,0,3,3,4 – 14 pts – 2 ppj.
Scarlett Knockout – 4 Jams – 3 Lead Jams – Jams of 2,0,0,4 – 6 pts – 1.5 ppj.

Schoolyard Scrappers
Jenna Talls – 8 Jams – 2 Lead Jams – Jams of 0,0,0,4,4,0,9,0 – 17 pts – 2.12 ppj.
Goody Goody Blooddrop – 14 Jams – 4 Lead Jams – Jams of 0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,9,2,1,0 – 22 pts – 1.57 ppj.
Nurse Ratchet – 3 Jams – 0 Lead Jams – Jams of 0,0,0 – 0 points – 0 ppj.

Sure, Vanessa Velocity and Satan’s Little Helper were opponents that night, but we got to see two adversaries Pass the Star, so to speak.  In the grand scheme, they’re league-mates.  Aside from winning, all these skaters in this league aim to do is entertain you, the fans.  It’ll be tough getting used to not seeing VV on the track anymore as what she brings to it is a very unique style.  It’s reassuring to see that a skater like Satan is ready to step in to fill her shoes and offer the same kind of exciting skating the fans pay to see and that AZDD aims to deliver.

One star in the AZDD universe falls dim, but the future looks bright.

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All you had to do was hear the first few bars of the song and instantly a circle of people would appear on the dance floor and before the lyrics even started there was some one in the center of it poppin’, lockin’, or spinnin’.

Its a lonely and treacherous place in the middle of those break dancing circles.  If you can brave stepping into that circle for a few moments to show off your moves by the end of it you’re either getting waved off by the crowd or cheered and begged for more.

It reminds me of our league’s Jammers.  The loneliest place on the track is behind that Jammer line.  And once the whistle blows twice, it doesn’t get any friendlier.  That’s when its time to dance and show your stuff as you try to make your way through a crowd of people, most of which are trying to destroy you, or at the very least, cramp your fresh style.

I started calling Jam On It! my new favorite roller derby song.  Aside from the title and the parallels I made up in my head between Jammers and break dancers, it actually has nothing to do with roller derby.

In my opinion, the Jammer position is the most difficult position on the track.  You must have speed, agility, control, power, endurance, and be sturdy on your skates.  You have to be slightly masochistic to be a Jammer because once you’ve fled the punishment of the pack, you’ll find yourself chasing eagerly to get back to it.

Coach is coming back ‘atcha again with another dose of season stats!  This time we take a look at AZDD’s speed demons and point scorers: the Jammers.  I’m gonna show you the Top 10 Jammers in several statistical categories.  But first, a few housekeeping notes to help you understand how I put these lists together.

In order to find the Top 10 Jammers in different areas, I condensed the pool of those eligible to be in the category.  In order to make it onto the list you must have Jammed at least 25 times this season.  In my mind, that number is sufficient to consider you a true and full-time Jammer because 25 jams in a season puts you at over 5 jams a bout.  To me, that’s a full-time Jammer.

This maintains the integrity of the averages by not considering blockers who may have gone out to Jam once or twice this season and scored 4 or 5 points for a deceiving average of over 4+ ppj.  It also separates the full-time Jammers from the part-time Jammers (those that are Jammers, but don’t Jam as frequently).

Further, the only numbers that will be considered are points scored by Jammers who are Jamming with there own team.  AZDD’s substitution program gave skaters who were in their bye-month the opportunity to skate with and fill in the short rosters of the other bouting teams.  This includes Jammers who Jammed for their adoptive team.  The stats they put up in those games won’t be considered here for two reasons.

First, it gave select Jammers an extra bout over all the others.  Teams play 4 games in the regular season so it doesn’t seem right to me that some should have an extra bout.  The second reason sorta plays off of the first.  Having an extra bout under your belt could be a good or bad thing depending on the outcome of the bout.  You could have either padded your stats nicely because you got to play an extra game, which would create an imbalance for all the other Jammers in the league; or, your stats could have taken a dive that would hurt your other season stats because you’re playing on a team with a scheme that you’re not used to and may not optimize your skills, which would make it unfair for that Jammer.

There’s an infinite amount of ways you can do these stats, but this is how we’re gonna do ‘em here.  So now that we’ve got that out of the way, lets boogie.  Here’s your list of full-time Jammers.

Jammers

1. Ellie Mayhem (Runaway Brides) – 54 Jams
2. Celeste (Bombshells) – 48 Jams
3. Cannibelle Corpse (Coffin Draggers) – 43 Jams
4. Goody Goody Blooddrop (Schoolyard Scrappers) – 42 Jams
5. Lap Dancer (Brutal Beauties) – 41 Jams
6. Lex Mosh (Runaway Brides) – 34 Jams
7. Jenna Talls (Schoolyard Scrappers) – 33 Jams
8. Mia Pow Wow (Coffin Draggers) – 32 Jams
8. HollyHood (Bombshells) – 32 Jams
10. Lady Lawless (Bombshells) – 31 Jams
10. Phenomenon (Runaway Brides) – 31 Jams
12. Craven Cadavers (Coffin Draggers) – 30 Jams
12. Nurse Ratchet (Schoolyard Scrappers) – 30 Jams
14. Pint Sized Punch (Brutal Beauties) – 26 Jams

By my standards the league has 14 full-time Jammers.  That works out about right because as you’ll notice, with the exception of the Brutal Beauties, each team has at least 3 full-time Jammers.  That seems to be the norm with part-time Jammers filling-in in between.  These are the Jammers that can make it into the following lists.

Lets get down to the nitty-gritty.

Top 10 Scoring Jammers

1. Ellie Mayhem – 162 pts
2. Goody Goody Blooddrop – 134 pts
3. Cannibelle Corpse – 122 pts
4. LAP Dancer – 115 pts
5. Celeste – 106 pts
6. Lady Lawless – 104 pts
7. Jenna Talls – 97 pts
8. HollyHood – 95 pts
9. Mia Pow Wow – 86 pts
10. Craven Cadavers – 72 pts

This list shouldn’t come as a surprise.  Six or our top 10 Jammers all scored over 100 points this season with a few that are hardly far behind that mark.  I think that shows that our league has a nice handful of Jammers who do what they’re supposed to do:  SCORE.  Totals like these reflect frequency of Jamming.  The more you Jam, the more points you’re gonna score.  If you’ll notice, our top 5 scoring Jammers are also the same 5 Jammers at the top of the list of full-time Jammers above.

Top 10 Average Points Per Bout (ppb.)

1. Ellie Mayhem – 40.5 ppb.
2. LAP Dancer – 38.33 ppb.
3. Goody Goody Blooddrop – 33.5 ppb.
4. Cannibelle Corpse – 30.5 ppb.
5. Celeste – 26.5 ppb.
6. Lady Lawless - 26 ppb.
7. Jenna Talls – 24.25 ppb.
8. Craven Cadavers – 24 ppb.
9. HollyHood – 23.75 ppb.
10. Mia Pow Wow – 21.5 ppb.

I like looking at Points Per Bout because when I’m preparing for the next opponent it allows me to get a general idea of how many points I can expect a Jammer to score in the bout.  The more you know about your opponent, the better.

Top 10 Average Points Per Jam (ppj.)

1. Lady Lawless – 3.35 ppj.
2. Goody Goody Blooddrop – 3.19 ppj.
3. Ellie Mayhem – 3.00 ppj.
4. HollyHood – 2.96 ppj.
5. Jenna Talls – 2.93 ppj.
6. Cannibelle Corpse – 2.83 ppj.
7. LAP Dancer – 2.80 ppj.
8. Mia Pow Wow – 2.68 ppj.
9. Craven Cadavers – 2.40 ppj.
10. Celeste – 2.20 ppj.

THIS is my favorite Jammer stat.  As mentioned, totals give you an idea of how frequently a Jammer Jams; averages give you an idea of how efficiently a Jammer Jams.  I’ve created a hierarchy within these averages.  Good Jammers will average 2.5 – 2.79 ppj.; solid Jammers will average 2.8 – 2.99.; elite Jammers will average 3 ppj. or more.  As you can see, there are few that lie within the elite category, but I believe those 3 Jammers are at the top of the list because they’re the most self sufficient Jammers in the league.  Meaning, they don’t need a lot of help from their blockers to score points.  They’re good at creating their own opportunities.  When they do get that help, they’re deadlier.  Lady Lawless creates points with her brutally physical, smart and intimidating style.  Goody Goody Blooddrop creates points with her speed, agility, and her small frame allows her to slip through smaller gaps in the pack.  Ellie Mayhem is a combination of the two.  She’s physical, intimidating, fast, and difficult to take off her skates.

Top 10 Lead Jam Percentage

1. Lady Lawless – 77 pct. (24 total Lead Jams)
2. Goody Goody Blooddrop – 73 pct. (31 total Lead Jams)
3. LAP Dancer – 68 pct. (28 total Lead Jams)
4. Jenna Talls – 66 pct. (22 total Lead Jams)
5. Craven Cadavers – 56 pct. (17 total Lead Jams)
5. Nurse Ratchet – 56 pct. (17 total Lead Jams)
7. Ellie Mayhem – 55 pct. (30 total Lead Jams)
7. Cannibelle Corpse – 55 pct. (24 total Lead Jams)
9. Phenomenon – 51 pct. (16 total Lead Jams)
10. Celeste – 50 pct. (24 total Lead Jams)
10. HollyHood – 50 pct. (16 total Lead Jams)

I mentioned this in my last entry, but getting the Lead Jam gives you ABSOLUTE POWAAAAH!!!!   Aside from being the one most likely to score points first, every single skater on the track is at your mercy because with Lead Jam you can control how long or short the Jam is going to be.  More so, when you get Lead Jam you have greater control over how many points the Jammer behind you has the potential to score.

Once you’ve acquired the Lead Jam, its best to treat it like the Hope Diamond; don’t let anybody steal  it.  The next two lists aren’t really crucial stats, but I thought it fun to see which of our Jammers are the biggest thieves and victims of theft on the track this season.  The first list is more complimentary than the second.  Although the second list is still a list of the Top Jammers for the category, its a bit of dubious honor.  The number in parentheses represents the number of Lead Jams that Jammer was able to recover (steal back) after having it ganked from them.

Top Jammers – Stolen Lead Jams

1. HollyHood – 5 Stolen Lead Jams
2. Ellie Mayhem – 3 Stolen Lead Jams
2. Phenomenon – 3 Stolen Lead Jams
4. Craven Cadavers – 2 Stolen Lead Jams
4. LAP Dancer – 2 Stolen Lead Jams
4. Pint Sized Punch – 2 Stolen Lead Jams
4. Nurse Ratchet – 2 Stolen Lead Jams

Top Jammers – Lost Lead Jams

1. LAP Dancer – 6 Lost Lead Jams (1 Recovered)
2. Phenomenon – 4 Lost Lead Jams
3. HollyHood – 3 Lost Lead Jams (2 Recovered)
3. Craven Cadavers – 3 Lost Lead Jams (1 Recovered)
3. Lex Mosh – 3 Lost Lead Jams (1 Recovered)
3. Celeste – 3 Lost Lead Jams
3. Pint Sized Punch – 3 Lost Lead Jams
8. Nurse Ratchet – 2 Lost Lead Jams

There’s any number of reasons a Jammer will call off a jam.  The most fundamental use is when both Jammers are in scoring position but the Lead Jammer has a little bit of track between her and the other, she makes it through the pack collecting her points, and calls it off before the other Jammer has an opportunity to score for an X to zero jam.  If two Jammers leave the pack at roughly the same time and are skate to skate, the Lead Jammer may call it off to end the jam and reset for the next jam to avoid the risk of the other team scoring points as they both re-enter the pack, or worse, losing Lead Jam and the POWAAAAAH!!!  Its demoralizing to lose Lead Jam and have it called off on you.  If you’ve ever met a girl in your life, you know they despise losing control.  That rings true 10-fold for a derby girl.

Top 10 Called Off Lead Jam Percentage

1. Phenomenon – 87 pct. (14 total Called Off)
2. Lady Lawless – 77 pct. (19 total Called Off)
3. Lex Mosh – 69 pct. (9 total Called Off)
4. Goody Goody Blooddrop – 67 pct. (21 total Called Off)
5. Celeste – 62 pct. (15 total Called Off)
5. Cannibelle Corpse – 62 pct. (15 total Called Off)
7. HollyHood – 50 pct. (12 total Called Off)
7. Ellie Mayhem – 50 pct. (15 total Called Off)
7. LAP Dancer – 50 pct. (14 total Called Off)
10. Mia Pow Wow – 46 pct. (6 total Called Off)

Phenomenon wasn’t high on the list for Lead Jam percentages and Lex Mosh won’t be found on it but these two skaters show that once they get the Lead Jam, they’re consistent at calling it off.  A 60 pct. or better call off percentage shows you maintain very good control of your Lead Jam.

I wish I knew what its like to be a Jammer and be the only one standing behind that line for a Power Jam.  Do you worry that since there’s no opposing Jammer the opposing teams blockers turn into heat seeking missiles making you their primary target?  Or do you revel in the fact that you have the complete support of your blockers and that their only job is to protect you while you make you’re way through the pack?

Being consistently successful in Power Jams requires your Jammer to complete as many laps as possible while the pack completes as few laps as possible.  That concept equals more scoring opportunities.  Here’s the list of your Top 10 Power Jammers.

Top 10 Average Points Per Power Jam (ppPJ.)

1. HollyHood – 11 ppPJ.
2. Lady Lawless – 9.6 ppPJ.
3. Ellie Mayhem – 8.27 ppPJ.
4. Celeste – 6 ppPJ.
5. Craven Cadavers – 5.33 ppPJ.
6. Jenna Talls – 5 ppPJ.
7. Nurse Ratchet – 4.3 ppPJ.
8. Phenomenon – 2 ppPJ.
8. Lex Mosh – 2 ppPJ.
10. Mia Pow Wow – 1 ppPJ.

Everyone loves a Power Jam.  Especially high scoring Power Jams.  Ten points or more is a successful Power Jam.  Ten points or less, you missed an opportunity to put some major uncontested points on the board.  Believe me; when you’re in the infield, the difference between adding 5 points to your score and adding 10 points to your score are worlds apart, especially late in the bout.  With 10 points or more, you just put a significant gap (or closed one) between you and your opponent’s score.

I think Power Jams are more a showcase of Blockers ability and effectiveness than they are about the Jammers ability to get around the track as many times as possible.

You have two sets of blockers who are no longer dividing their attention among two Jammers.  One set is programed to attack, destroy and increase the pace of the pack; the other set is programed to protect and reduce the pace of the pack.  Two competing opposite forces.

The teams who really capitalize in controlling the pack will have their Jammers at the top of this list (what! what!).   Jammers who are averaging around 5 points or less means their pack isn’t getting them out of the pack soon enough and/or they aren’t slowing the pace of the pack enough to allow their Jammer to catch it faster and have scoring opportunities.  A 5 point average is indicative of only averaging 1 complete pass in scoring position.  Blockers NEED to give their Jammers more scoring opportunities in Power Jams.  Otherwise its no different than a regular jam.

And there you have it B-Boys and B-Girls.  These are the best *wiki*wiki* J-J-J-J-J-Jammers *wiki*wiki*wiki* AZDD has to offer for all of your high-speed scoring pleasure.

Make sure to come check these ladies out this Saturday, August 21, 2010 at the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum at the Arizona State Fairgrounds.  7pm!  Doors open at 5pm.  Then after the triple-header come chat or snap a photo with your favorite Jammer (or any Dame for that matter) at the Bout After Party right inside the Coliseum.  See you then, derby fans!

A small note to all my AZDD Blockers out there in the league that read this blog:

I attempted to try and keep Blocker stats at one point this season working off of the videos I have from each bout.  The difficulty I ran into was that I take video from the highest row of the Coliseum and the lighting on the track isn’t that great from that distance and its difficult to tell who the Blockers are on the track.  They’re all shadows.   So I put it off.

I’m able to tell who my Bombshell Blockers are because I recognize their strides and the way they skate.  I assume that would probably be the same case for the other team Captains and trainers.

I’ve always wanted to keep stats on Blockers but I just couldn’t get over that hurdle and I’d rather do stats accurately or not at all.  After these last two blogs I really want to know, and I want everyone else to know too, who the best and most effective Blockers are in this league statistically.  Jammer may be the most difficult position, but Blocker is the most important.  And I want to give credit to the skaters who spend all their time in the the trenches of the pack.

So here’s the help I need:  If any of the leaders from each team are willing to share their old line-ups with me or sit down for an afternoon or evening to watch bout tapes and help me identify who their Blockers are on the track, that’s all I’d need.  I already have the necessary numbers, I just need to know who the Blockers are for each Jam.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

PLAYOFFS!!!! TOMORROW!!!! BE THERE!!!!

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The way the bout played out was what seemed like a bad case of déjà vu.  We hung with the more experienced Draggers for much of the first quarter.  The bout was still tied at 0 after the first two jams and that let me know that we were in for a very defensive game.  The Draggers kept big blockers Wendy O. Killems and Ginger Mortis up in the front of the pack as often as they could be which made it difficult for our smaller Jammers to get around.  They did a great job shutting us out in 4 of the first 5 jams.  We found ourselves trailing at one point 9-4 and leading in another when the score was 9-12.  I felt good about this quarter just the same way I did against the first quarter against the Scrappers.  We were still hanging with the Draggers after the first with a tie score of 14-14.  When I looked up at the score board right before the 2nd quarter started it gave me the indication that this might be a close one to the finish.

The 2nd quarter starts and we’ve got a Jammer in the box.  Shit!  I look towards the Jammer line and I see Mia Pow Wow. Holy Shit!  This would be out first test.  In the previous bout Mia skated circles around the Brutal Beauties and had multiple 10 point Power Jams.  I had a feeling this jam would tell me early whether this bout was going to get away from us or not.  Fortunately, our defense came through, big time. We held Mia Pow Wow scoreless during that Power Jam, she never even broke the pack.  By the time half time had rolled around Mia jammed 6 times and only scored 1 point.  We did well in the second quarter holding the Draggers scoreless in 7 of the first 8 jams.  We were building a lead and then I had to watch Craven Cadavers skate circles around the track and rack up a 9 to 0 jam.  It was reminiscent of the 9 point jam Jenna Talls put up in the second quarter of our bout with the Scrappers that kept them within reach.  And yet again, there I was on the bench scratching my head (the same way I did with Jenna) thinking, “Wow, where did Craven come from.  Wasn’t expecting that!”  That jam was just a foreshadowing of what was to come from her the rest of the bout.  She was just getting warmed up.  That jam put her team in the lead 23-18.  We played some strong derby in the 2nd quarter but we kind of let up when the Draggers outscored us in the last 4 jams 15-6.  Cannibelle Corpse struggled early wearing the star scoring 0 points in her first 5 attempts at the Jammer spot.  She bounced back in her last two tries before the half scoring 5 points in each jam that was a big part of that 15-6 run that ended the half.

I look up at the score at the half and I’m seeing what happens when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object: things go nowhere, its a stalemate.  Such was the case at the end of the 1st quarter when the score was tied 14-14 and also at the end of the 2nd quarter when the score was tied 38-38.  I thought about the half and I wondered how the Draggers were able to keep up with us when we were succeeding in shutting down their top 2 jammers in Mia Pow Wow and Cannibelle Corpse.  I realized its because their other jammers stepped up and scored some needed points.  We never expected to see Lora Stabs jam as much as we did, but it only seemed natural for her to step in after the departure of Dr. Mary Lou Botomy.  She logged two separate 5-0 jams in the first half.  Scarlett Knock-Out had a very efficient first half as a Jammer.  She skated twice with the star on her helmet and she owned the track both times.  She acquired the lead jam, called off the jam, and racked up 4 to 0 jams on both tries.  Killer job by the rookie! Craven puts up a 9-0 jam, Stabs puts up two 5-0 jams, and K.O. puts up two 4-0 jams.  Incredible.  These 3 Jammers accounted for 27 of the Draggers first half points, while their strongest Jammers in Cannibelle and Mia account for 11.  I was stuck in another swirl of déjà vu.  Just like in the Scrappers bout we succeeded in limiting their best Jammers, but we couldn’t contain the rest of their Jamming crew who scored the points the Draggers needed.

I can’t take any credit or blame for the half Lady Lawless had.  Even I don’t know what had gotten into her.  She was unstoppable and Jamming out of her mind.  She scored almost 60% of the Bombshells first half points, getting credit for 22 out of the 38.  She acquired the lead jam on all 6 of her tries and called them all off with excellent demonstrations of how a Jammer can play defense and still score points at the same time.  Her first 6 jam counts look like this: 4 pts, 4 pts, 4 pts, 5 pts, 1 pt, 4 pts.  She put up all those points while the opposing Jammers only put up 1 against her.  We had some struggles in our Jamming crew as well in the first half.  The Draggers smothered our rookie Jammer Dottie Danger shutting her out for the game.  Dottie scored 0 points in her 4 tries Jamming and couldn’t continue in the 2nd half because of a nagging knee injury that got the best of her at half time.  Our top scoring Jammer, Celeste, was also facing some heavy resistance as she only averaged 1.6 ppj in the first half.  She’s one of the league’s top scoring Jammers and the Draggers were effective in containing her, which is evident in that average.  I can only assume they prepared specifically to defend her the way we prepared to defend their best Jammers.

The 3rd quarter got underway and déjà vu was slapping me in face again.  And this time it really hurt.  Mia Pow Wow came out and scored a 10 point jam and I thought, “Ok, the real Mia Pow Wow is here now, where did that other one go?”  Then Craven put up 4 point jam and Cannibelle followed with a 3 point jam.  Suddenly we’re down by 17 points, 17 unanswered points.  The score was now 55-38 and we had yet to score in the half.  Just like in the last bout I’m thinking, “Where the hell did my Bombshells from the first half go?”  I thought for a moment the bout was going to get away from us at that point.  We took a time out to try and stop the bleeding from the gushing wound those zombies just opened up on the Bombshells in the first few jams.  That timeout turned out to be the turning point in the game for the Bombshells.  I reminded the skaters of what happened in the second half of the last bout and of what they told me their goal was for this game: they wanted to be a stronger second half team.  We found our center during the break and switched our strategy to one of our familiar sets we’d been running since day one and from that point on, the Bombshells chipped away at the lead one jam at a time.  The Draggers out scored us in that quarter 31-23 and it appeared the unstoppable force was beginning to show its superiority.  We were fortunate Lady Lawless put up a crucial 9 to 0 jam at the end of the quarter which made the 69-61 score easier to look at.  That jam going into the 4th quarter really kept the bout within reach for us.

We started the 4th quarter with our own Power Jam.  Celeste was behind the Jammer line and she added 3 points to our score.  Not what we would have wanted or have come to expect from Celeste, but at that point, any little bit helped.  The score was now 69-64 and the crowd was really starting to get into it.  It became deafening once the 4th quarter started.  The Draggers responded with a two jam 10 point scoring streak that bumped their lead back up to 15, 79-64.  I looked up at the score board and their was déjà vu again, mocking me.  It was almost at the same point in the last bout that I looked up and the Scrappers had a healthy lead against us with half a quarter left.  But that time I didn’t change anything.  I kept us in the same scheme we had been running all game and it doomed us.  We’re a defensive team.  We’re not a high scoring team.  Our defense creates our offense and that’s what I had hoped would happen to will us passed the Scrappers in the 4th quarter.  It didn’t work.  We needed to start scoring at that point and I didn’t put us in a position to do that.  This time around against the Draggers I learned from the mistake I made against the Scrappers, flipped déjà vu the bird, got my skaters in a circle around me, put pen to paper and drew up a play that I hoped would score us some points.  It did.  HollyHood went in there in our second Power Jam of the quarter and scored us 10 points.  Suddenly the bout was back within reach at 81-77 and the crowd was even louder than they were when the quarter started.  You began to hear competing chants of “Let’s go Draggers!” with “Let’s go Bombshells!”  Then Celeste lined up and we ran the same play.  It scored us 3 points and the score was now 82-80.

When Lady Lawless and Cannibelle Corpse lined up for the second to last jam, none of us realized we were about to watch the most important jam of the night.  Lawless was able to break the pack first acquiring the lead jam with about half a track between her and Cannibelle Corpse who was chasing right behind her.  Lawless was able to get through the pack a second time and scored all 4 points but didn’t call off the jam in time to keep Cannibelle from scoring 3 of her own.  There was a brief moment where Lawless could have called the jam off to keep Cannibelle from scoring any points.  I went absolutely nuts on the bench because I always stress to my Jammers to maintain awareness of the other Jammer at all times.  Lawless lost Cannibelle for a moment and in those few seconds before Lawless called it off Cannibelle was able to score points to keep her team in the lead.  When that jam was over the score was 85-84.  Had Lawless waited 4 more seconds to call off the jam, the game would have been over and the Draggers would have been declared the winners.  There were 34 seconds left in the game.  By AZDD rules, if there are 29 seconds or less left on the game clock, another jam will not be played and the game is declared over.  If there are 30 second or more left, the clock resets to a full minute and 1 last jam is played.  The stage was set for one of the best finishes of the AZDD season.  I didn’t realize until the last few moments before the whistle blew for the last jam that we would have a Power Jam.  I looked over to see Cannibelle sitting in the box and that’s when I knew this was our game to steal.  I looked over to HollyHood and screamed, “This is your time!  Win this game!”  I can’t even explain what happened.  Just watch:

I could not contain myself after we won the bout in the last moments.  HollyHood and her Power Jam blockers scored the points we needed to pull ahead with 12 second left, but to solidify the victory, she went after the last two Draggers in the front of the pack and collected those points too.  Final score was 85-89.  Bombshells win.  I can’t remember the last time I was THAT excited about any kind of sports victory.  I mean, it was real sweet to watch the Suns sweep the Spurs during the playoffs this season.  I jumped up and down to exhaustion when that happened.  But this was different.  And this was where the déjà vu I had been experiencing all game became a little different.  It was a bout with two strong teams, just like the last bout.  It was practically even going into the 4th quarter, just like the last bout.  And it came down to a great finish, just like the last bout.  Except this time around there was something different about this rush of déjà vu.  There was something new.  The difference was that the Bombshells were the thieves who stole this bout from the Draggers.  We were the one’s who came from behind to eek out a win.  Of all the things that felt familiar that night, it ended with a different, newer feeling.  A little something I call déjà new.

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I was indoors but strangely there was a breeze that kept running by that eventually elevated itself to what felt like a small tornado and I found myself right in the middle of it.

The view from inside the track

Despite all this activity going on around me, I felt right at home. Don’t be fooled; I’m not talking about that twister I was chasin’ on my last trip to Kansas (’cause I’ve never actually been to Kansas). What I’m describing is what it feels like to be sitting in the infield of the banked track while a roller derby bout is happening. That’s the vantage point on which I was able to witness the Runaway Brides take on the Coffin Draggers at AZDD’s debut bout. Lady Lawless and I had the fortunate circumstance of being asked by the Brides to be their team managers during the bout since the Bombshells had the night off. To say the least, its intense in there and watching a game right in the middle of the action is WAY different than watching it from the stands. You would assume there is a big difference, but you don’t actually understand it until you’re right there. I was constantly rotating 360 degrees to follow the pack and the action around the track. All eyes and noise from the crowd are directed right at you that it can be deafening. You can even feel the athletes skating by. All senses are involved when you’re watching banked track roller derby from the belly of that beast of a track. I threw on my Karate Kid bandana which only signifies one thing: GAME TIME!

The posture of this bout was similar to that of the Beauties v. Scrappers bout. The Draggers had the edge in both roster size and experience. The Brides have experienced skaters that date back to their championship back in Season 3, but a good chunk of their team is a lot of anxious, new blood. Going in, my prediction was that the Coffin Draggers would take this bout, but I believed the Brides would make it a competitive bout. Right out of the first jam it looked like what I assumed may come to be true. Ellie Mayhem cut up the Draggers pack and took the lead jam with a healthy lead and it looked like we all might be in for a good fight. But once the Draggers got comfortable and set into their scheme it was the like the Brides were a guest in the Draggers graveyard.

The Draggers were able to keep the Brides’ score low with their impenetrable defense. They owned the front of the pack with the triangle formation they were running and not only were the Brides’ jammers having difficulty getting through it, but their blockers were having difficulty dealing with it as well. The Draggers jumped out to an early lead and they didn’t look back. They lost a couple of key players to injuries in the first half of the bout. Mia Pow Wow and Angela Darkness, both Dragger jammers, appeared to have gone down with shoulder injuries. It was a shame to see these two go down because they’re exciting players to watch. With these two players out, I thought the Brides might have a better chance to get back into it after every jam, but the Draggers had a few skaters step up and they just kept pouring it on.

Ellie Mayhem and Cannibelle behind the jammer line

I’ve already said enough about Cannibelle Corpse, but she did not disappoint and more importantly she didn’t make me look like a fool for all the things I said about her in a previous blog. She delivered exactly what I would have expected from her. I wish that I could bottle the focused intensity that she plays with and feed it to my skaters. You don’t get to many jammers out there who are willing to deliver a hit while they’re trying to score points and that’s one of the reasons I like her style of play so much. It doesn’t matter to her that she’s wearing a star on her helmet (when she actually puts it on hehehe), she will still try to punish you with a hit as she’s skating by.

My standout performer of the night would most definitely go to Dr. Mary Lu Botomy. She did a clutch job at the jammer spot and I remember watching her routinely call off jams. On a number of those occasions I saw her take the lead jam away from a Bride jammer in the thick of the pack. She showed everyone in the building why having the lead jam is so advantageous. When you possess it, it can be a tool for total domination, or for sour demoralization. On one instance I saw Phenomenon approaching the pack with lead jam and DMLB was about 10 feet behind her. Phenomenon got caught in the pack and somehow DMLB found a lane right by her and her lace laden teammates to score 4 points, take lead jam, then call it off. I can only imagine what Phenomenon felt like at that moment. You just busted your ass all the way around the track several times, leading the whole way, and at the last moment you lose the lead jam and 4 points are scored on you while you skate off the track with none. What a demoralizer. That jam was a great display at a high level by DMLB of the physical and mental aspects of banked track roller derby. And lets face it, she’s absolutely charming in that Go-Daddy commercial. I just want to put her in my pocket and bring her home and have her do advertising pitches for all the products I have in my refrigerator.

Don’t ride off the Brides after this bout. If anything, if you saw what I was seeing, you have keep them on your radar. Not only do they have one of the league’s superstars, but they’ve got some great blockers and their talent shows when they work together. Nothing evidenced that more than the first two jams of the second half. This was the only time I really saw the Draggers shook because the Brides were skating nice and tight and as one. They were able to get the lead jam on each of those jams and capitalized by scoring some points. Additionally, their pack did a great job defending the Draggers’ jammer. Throughout the bout Iron Swede was doin’ a bang up job as a Bride blocker. She didn’t need to do anything amazing to stand out. You could tell that she was focused on executing the fundamentals of blocking. She stayed low and kept placing herself in the right place at the right time when the Draggers’ jammer approached the pack. When it comes to blocking, the simplest and most effective technique is to just get in the way, and she did that well and with purpose. Defense is a huge part of this game now and to down-play it would be to undermine a majority of the athletes involved in this sport. From where I was standing, one of the most exciting defensive sequences of the bout was when Phenomenon defended Craven A. Cadaver, who was the jammer at the time, single-handedly for almost a complete rotation of the track. The make-up Craven was rocking was sick, but it had little effect in intimidating Phenomenon. I don’t know if I was just hearing myself cheer, but it sounded like the crowd roared at the booty-blocking clinic that Phenomenon was putting on. Watching scorers accumulate points is fun, but its solid, aggresive defense that always impresses me and makes me stand up. These instances of defensive brilliance showed me that the Brides have the tools, they just need some more time to learn how to use them effectively.

Craven A. Cadaver

As expected, the Coffin Draggers skated off victorious with a final score of 112-44. To be quite honest, while I was down there in the middle of the track the score was the last thing on my mind. Even though I was a part of all the action and activity that the outer rails on the track encompassed, there was a part of me that was in awe and I had to keep reminding myself that for this bout I wasn’t a spectator. Its an awesome feeling to look into the eyes of the skaters and interact with them during the heat of battle. Its a humbling feeling to look up into the crowd and see all the faces looking toward you. One of the collateral effects of helping the Brides out for this bout was that it gave Lawless and I a dry run at how things go down on the bench. Its a comforting feeling to know that when I step out on to that infield next month to coach my Bombshells through there first bout of the season, it wont be my first time. I’ll know how to respond to certain game situations and how to approach the refs when I feel I need to call their attention to something. I have to thank the Runaway Brides for giving me the opportunity to help out because not only did I have one of the best seats in the house, they gave me an opportunity to learn some new things about this game. The Brides were very gracious in thanking Lawless and I for what we did for their team, but I don’t think they quite understand what they did for our team that night. We’ll be better prepared come next month. So, thanks a million Brides!

The Runaway Brides

The first bouts of the season had ended. As we started to tear down the track and I looked up at all the empty seats I began reflecting on the part of the evening that had just passed. I witnessed this league evolve. The bout production was clean and seamless. The crowds were bigger than any AZDD had seen in the past. The game was faster and more demanding of the athletes. When the Dames decided that they were going to move from flat track derby to banked track derby I knew their would be an evolutionary leap, I just didn’t think it would be this drastic. The flat track days of last season are gone and though we still reside in the home we call the Coliseum, the debut of this banked track to the masses has proven one thing: We’re not in Kansas anymore.

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